so after a little melt down yesterday, i decided to try and have a more positive outlook on the situation. i know now that i have a friend up there. it's definitely much better where he is than here. thats for sure. and ill talk to him every once in a while. so he doens't get bored or lonely and so he knows he has people who love and miss him and still care about him down here. i dunno. i guess it makes things a bit easier for me. and i really dont know... no one really knows what happens, but i just want to put how im feeling out there so he knows. i was just reminiscing over old picture and it make it hard for me to accept. in fact, i still haven't accepted it yet. im just sad because i miss him, like i miss all the other people in my old crew. i dont remember if i wrote it, but i had a dream i saw all of them again, i was so happy! so i just miss them all alot and i can't really comprehend the fact i won't be able to see some of them again. even as i write this now, it makes me sad but im somewhat disconnected. i can't really imagine this. i was also looking up pictures from last summer and i miss some of those people too! i wish i had the chance to see them all... or at least talk to them. =[
at school i couldn't concentrate that much but i didn't tell anyone. the only people that know are is my crew, my mom, and 2 friends. i feel like no one would understand besides my crew so im just going to do what seems right.whether "talking" to him makes me crazy or not.
i dunno. it seemed like some of my friends were such assholes today. sqwabbling over petty things. im thinking, in the grand scheme of things does this really matter? most of them didn't seem to notice i was a little upset and they completely ignored it or made things more annoying. if you see im in a bad mood for whatever reason, dont be a total douche. be nice.
...maybe its just me...